I’m sure it’s no surprise to you that we all deal with frustration at times. It’s inevitable that, in marriage, at work and/or with the kids that your frustration buttons will get pushed. This weekend was a prime example. I had one goal in mind, spend Saturday morning relaxing with my wife. That just didn’t happen. I needed that day to just unwind and relax. I knew that if I didn’t get Saturday there wasn’t any light at the end of the tunnel for at least another week or more.
Well at 4 o’clock in the morning it happened. The thing that took Saturday away. Mind you it’s just part of having a family and loving on people but at that moment I was sooooo frustrated. I knew the thing that I felt I needed wasn’t going to happen, at least not the way I planned it in my mind.
So here are a few tips to help us to deal with frustration.
1. Identify the real source of your frustration
When we are frustrated we tend to spread our irritation around. Everyone and everything gets on your nerves. Which also means sometimes people pay for something they had nothing to do with. To deal with our frustrations we have to first find what the real source of the frustration is. One way to do this is to ask why. Why does this bother me? Why is this a big deal? Why am I reacting this way? Asking yourself why and honestly answering can help lead to the true source of your frustration and save your spouse unnecessary pain.
2.Give it to God
“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.” 1 Peter 5:7
Get in the habit of giving your frustrations, worries and anxiety to God to guide you through the things that will arise in your life. If you make a habit of always inviting Him, you can take comfort in knowing He will always be there caring for the things you care about.
3. Put frustration in its place
Now that you know the source of your frustration put it in its place. There are 3 options:
Deal with it – Go to the person or persons (in love) and express your frustration and work to come to a place of resolution or at agreement.
Own it – For example, if you’re frustrated and irritable because you didn’t get enough sleep last night. That’s yours and others shouldn’t have to pay the price for that. You have to own that one.
Let it go – In some cases you just need to let it go. Being frustrated with Lorrie for the last 20 years about squeezing the toothpaste tube and not rolling it from the bottom is just one of those things I need to let go. The world will not end over it, Our marriage is going to survive it…I chose to let it go. In my mind it’s not worth it
Sometimes it will be a mixture of the above in order resolve the issue.
Not getting that day of rest was out of my control. I determined since there was nothing I could do about it and there was no other day available so I had to let it go. There will be another opportunity for a day off soon but it’s not now. So I choose to be positive and keep moving.
I hope this helps and gives you a fresh perspective that helps you to ease the frustrations that arise both in and out of your marriage.
Enjoy Your Marriage!
David & Lorrie