They knew something was different. Looking at one another they realized they were different, naked. Many days had been spent wandering the garden together, exploring creation and the many wonders of the one who created it yet never once did they see themselves as naked. Now they felt an overwhelming desire to hide. How quickly shame began to enter the garden of their minds. They quickly covered themselves.

They knew something had changed…as they heard Him coming they wondered would He? They could hear His footsteps as he drew nearer; His sweet aroma filling the garden. Their instinct was to run to Him…as they always had. He loved them and they Him but what they felt as He drew closer was not love but fear. So they hid, hoping that He would not see them as they now saw themselves. “Where are you?” He called as He looked for His friends. Realizing he could not hide  Adam stepped out and replied  “I heard you walking in the garden,” Adam replied “so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.” As He looked into Adams eyes He asked “who told you that you were naked?” 

Where did you get your ideas about marriage from? Where and when did you begin to form your beliefs about marriage, relationships and sex? Lorrie and I have been privileged to have the example of our parents’ long-lasting marriages. However, that did not keep us from forming wrong views of marriage, relationships and sex.

Much of my early views about sex were shaped by porn and I thought relationships were like those on Dynasty and Dallas (yes, I did have some highly dramatic moments in middle school based upon the previous evening’s episode of Dynasty). Throw in some bad advice from well-meaning yet equally misguided friends and you can see a pretty bad relationship recipe coming together.

It took me some years to realize that as I was taking in all of this information from all of these places that I was shaping my core beliefs about marriage, relationships and sex… And what I believed wasn’t right. So many bad choices led to so many mistakes, lots of hurt and consequently scars, wounds and baggage that nearly tanked my marriage early on. After a rocky start, God began to re-wire my thinking and change my heart about these things. “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.” Romans 12:2 NLT If things were going to be right I would have to go back to the one who created all of it and let Him teach me how to see things properly. As a result, I’ve been happily married for 17 years, I’ve grown to appreciate and enjoy my relationship with my wife. I’ve grown to understand that sex is good and we (married folks) are to enjoy it (and we do!).  My wife is my fantasy and I’ve come to appreciate relationships. Life is relationships everything else is just details.

We have to take the things that we’ve always believed about our marriages, sex and relationships and ask ourselves the questions “Who taught us that”? Where did that belief come from? And does it line up with God’s point of view on the matter? If not, we have to be open to change. Are you willing to change? I still love Dynasty. It’s one of my all time favorite shows. I’ve learned to leave the drama to the actors.

How about you? Who or what influenced your beliefs about marriage, relationships and sex?

 

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/johnleach/17580731/”>John Leach</a> via  <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photo pin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/”>cc</a>