“Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? Can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water.” –James 3:11-12 (ESV)
Recently, we touched on some of the double talk we do in our relationships that sends mixed signals to our spouses.
It reminded of the time in our lives when I threw the “D” word around pretty often. I couldn’t see how or why Lorrie would question my commitment to her. I was providing for our home, I told her I loved her…wasn’t that enough? Just because we fought a lot and we said things we didn’t really mean surely she knew how I really felt despite that…right? Well, she didn’t.
The real question was which me was telling the truth? Was it the one who was always threatening to leave or the one working hard saying I love you? I must have seemed double-minded to her and I know she was constantly trying to figure me out.
I liken this to trying get olives from a fig tree or fresh water from a salt pond. You can’t tear your spouse down and expect a happy marriage. You can’t belittle and demean one another then expect them to understand how you “really” feel about them. It just doesn’t work that way.
“A man’s [moral] self shall be filled with the fruit of his mouth; and with the consequence of his words he must be satisfied [whether good or evil].” –Proverbs 18:20 (AMP)
Enjoy Your Marriage,
David & Lorrie McIntyre