A few years ago Andy Stanley wrote a book called “Choosing To Cheat“. In it he talks about how the things we choose to cheat show what we truly value. One of those areas that we need to talk about is the job and what happens when it becomes your affair.
First a disclaimer: It is important that we work and provide for our families. Work is honorable and necessary. The problem we often see is work becomes the priority while your relationship with The Lord and your family take a back seat (if given a place at all). This happens for many reasons:
1. Identity. Some find their identity in what they do and their title and not who they are.
2. Work = security. So the more I work the more secure I am.
3. Work is a place to hide from the issues at home.
4. The people at work meet my emotional needs…they care about me.
5. Sense of Control. I feel more in control at work.
These feelings and needs are not inherently bad. When we don’t get theses needs met in the right places we tend to start hunting for someone or something to fill the void. That place for many has become work. This is part of the reason we are dealing with the rising dilemma of “binge working”.
Binge Working is a new term used to describe people who work more than 8 hours a day and 60+ hours a week.We used to call it being a workaholic. With our connected society work tends to be wherever we are via tablets, smartphones and other devices. It has had and continues to have disastrous effects on your health, marriage and family. Let’s start with the effects on your health.
We don’t need anyone to tell us that we are working more, sleeping less, juicing up with energy drinks and/or lots of coffee. Researchers say this is a recipe for disaster.
“Medical experts say that heart disease and psychological stress are the leading causes of employees’ medical problems. In addition, binge workers fall into unhealthy traps of over-eating, binge drinking (caffeinated and alcoholic beverages) and not following any type of exercise routine. Often, these unhealthy habits lead to employees with symptoms of exhaustion and depression.” -David Smith
These are just some of the health concerns that should concern you and your family. Next, we are going to talk about the impact on your marriage.I urge you to be open to take an honest look at yourself as we go through this and allow God to speak to your heart about it.
For some of you this may not apply to you but you know someone who it does. Share this with someone you know. You could save a marriage, heal a family and maybe even save a life.
Enjoy Your Marriage!