Today, let’s talk about the impact being married to the job has on your marriage. Let’s start with a few questions:
Does your spouse feel like they are constantly battling for your attention?
Does your husband/wife know that if the phone rings and it’s the job that they have lost you for the night?
Do they feel that you would rather go to work than out on a date with her/him?
In other words does your spouse feel like they are the least of you priorities?
When you’re married to the job there is only one priority – the job. And the job is relentless and doesn’t want to share. Usually, after you have poured yourself out at work your spouse and kids get whatever is left over…which is usually little to nothing. More importantly they don’t really get your full attention because of the ringing or the iPad beeping. It seems to go on all night. Which explains two of key symptoms connected with this lifestyle: exhaustion and depression. I call it being “spent”.
I relate to this because I was that guy. For years I lived like this. Excessive hours, combined with work related travel and performance stress led to exhaustion, depression and a few other things. After a while the excitement and energy was gone and I felt sucked dry, burned out, disconnected from my wife and family…Spent.
I would have told you at that time I was doing it for my family, to make a living. In hindsight, I see that wasn’t the true motivation. I was successful there and people loved me and I fed off of that initially. Then I got caught up in this false sense of finding my identity in being connected to that organization and before you know it my priorities had been reset. I talked like Lorrie and the kids were first place but I lived like they weren’t. It was only after a series of events where I felt attacked and abandoned by those that said they loved me that I had my moment of clarity and woke up. By the time I came to myself I had already paid a price for it. My wife loved me for sure but she had been alone, feeling like a single parent and disconnected for a few years. From that point I started laying a new foundation and putting things back in their proper order and my marriage is the better for it.
You can do it to! We will help you as much or as little as you want but you’ve got to get your wife or husband back. You’ve got to reconnect and get those priorities back in order…God, spouse, kids, job. We want to see you win!
May your moment of clarity come quickly before it cost you more than you want to pay.