One of the biggest traps that I have fallen into in marriage is the comparison trap. I’m guilty of comparing my wife and our marriage to others.

The problem is comparison is dangerous. Primarily because we often compare ourselves or others to a perception and not a reality. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard, “I wish my wife was more like the pastor’s wife.” Mind you, most of these guys don’t have a clue about what she’s REALLY like. Just the public persona that they see on Sundays.
Early on, Lorrie would cook for me and ask me what I thought. I would say, “It doesn’t taste like my mom or grandma’s.” Well, my grandma heard me say that one time and said, “Do you want to eat?”

 

I didn’t know that, in a sense, what I was communicating to Lorrie was, “You’re not good enough; you don’t measure up.” So as long as I was trying to make her over in my mom, grandma’s or anyone else’s image, things weren’t going to go well for us.

When I gave Lorrie comparison-free room to be who she is, our relationship got better and better. She didn’t feel like I was trying to change her and I learned I really enjoy her cooking and began to accept her for who she is.

“Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else.”
Galatians 6:4 (NLT)

Good Eats!
David & Lorrie